Sunday Best, Monopoly, and Formula February 25, 2008

We actually made it to church on Sunday, which is a great excuse for putting dresses and skirts on Phare despite the temp of 17. The skirt is a hand-me-down from cousin Ramona in Chicago, who always looks stylish, so I can’t really take any credit. Toby is clearly proud to be Phare’s Daddy in this picture!

On other notes, Noah had vacation all last week. This is the first school vacation he has spent in VT, as he normally goes to see his dad in NC. Anyway, he didn’t drive me too crazy, and as you can see, he found other things to do besides playing Halo 3.

On a personal note, I finally relented and Phare had her first bottle of formula this weekend. This kind of thing stirs up all sort of insecure feelings, for better or worse. If you are a mother, you are fully aware of the pressure that exists in this area of feeding your baby. When a woman wants to breastfeed, and for whatever reason can’t, it can be a devastating experience, that isn’t just about pride or selfishness, but a healthy desire to do what I believe God created women to do. But sometimes God has a different plan, and unfortunately women, myself included, spend too much time judging rather than supporting each other in our endeavors to be the best moms we can be. When Noah was born I still had a semester left of school, and at first I tried my hardest to feed him myself, even going so far as pumping milk in the stall of a highschool bathroom where I was student teaching. This obviously could not and did not last, so we gave him formula, and I fed him only at night. Eventually he refused me, right around the time I was done and was able to stay home with him. I cried and cried and cried, but he turned out okay anyway and is a healthy young man who I am so proud of.

I’ve decided to introduce Phare to formula for several reasons, that I can’t explain without feeling like I’m trying to justify myself to the world. What I do know is that this is a good decision for our family. My very wise sister-in-law Jane said to me once, in a conversation revolving around this topic, that you can’t just focus on what the medical community says about breastfeeding. You also have to take into account what is good for the whole family.

I hope I haven’t irritated anyone with these thoughts. I’d love to hear your input, if you have any.

Water Lily February 18, 2008

Yesterday we took Phare and Noah to the gym to go swimming. Phare loved the water, although a bit unsure at first. She loved to splash but always ended up confused and alarmed when most of the water landed on her face. This was her first time being in a body of water other than the counter bathtub. Her swimsuit was a gift from auntie Jonica, one of my best friends, and I think she looks hilarious in it. There is a matching bonnet but that would have been overkill, especially at an indoor pool.

Baker Man February 13, 2008

When I was a single mom working full-time and then some, the impending arrival of Valentine’s Day made me nauseous, anxious, and depressed. Noah was too little to make his own valentines, but the inevitable school Valentine’s Day party made it a requirement nonetheless. How was I going to find the time or energy to address 40 different valentines for his classmates, when I could barely find the energy to make his lunch and properly bathe him? The pressure to have the coolest valentines with the right candy inside did not escape me either.

Praise God I am no longer a single mother. The anxiety, now a learned response, has continued to stay with me, until this year. Last night Noah decided on his own to bake four dozen chocolate chip cookies to give to his classmates in celebration of the holiday. I couldn’t and can’t believe it. Just when you think that nothing you do as a parent is making a difference, something like this happens. Not only did he bake some of the best cookies I’ve ever tasted, but he cleaned everything up and did not complain. Where did my little boy go? Eleven years later and I almost find myself wishing for the days when he needed me to make his valentines. I wish I had savored those moments more somehow, but it’s never to late to start.

I need to give some major credit to Sue Deitrich, who took Noah out and bought him his own apron and cookbook when she became aware of his interest in cooking. The interest, I believe, comes from his friend Alec (12), who is a great cook and baker. Thank you Sue and Alec! Presenting the baker man:

The Peany Beany February 11, 2008

Phare is never called Phare. She has been called “the peanut” for so long, by so many, that Phare sounds strange and unfamiliar. Peanut has been shortened by us to “peany.” We also call her peany beany. She really is a peanut, weighing in at only 14 lbs at 8 months, the fifth percentile. A friend of a friend has a new baby, who at 8 weeks weighed 16 lbs! What a bruiser! I do enjoy how little she is, but sometimes I feel insecure when strangers ask her age and then seem alarmed by the answer. Here’s my peany enjoying her bath, and her daddy.

Hello? Is anyone out there? February 9, 2008

I’m going to attempt this blog again, although not sure why. Usually when I read other people’s blogs I skim right through and just want to look at pictures. I’ll try to keep it short and sweet, won’t brag too much about what my kids can do now, and any pictures you see. . .well, there is usually a lot more going on than meets the eye! Sometimes when I look at blogs I end up feeling jealous of how perfect people’s lives seem. Why aren’t I growing my own organic garden in my new greenhouse (like my neighbor–no joke), or running several miles a day in 20 degree weather, or having better hair days that don’t give any credit to that old saying “finger stuck in a socket”? I think people think about me that way too, which is shocking. It just goes to show that most of the time I live in a false reality and it’s wise not to compare.

Well, it’s just me, Rebekah, and the tales of my life. If you are interested, keep checking back. There’s too much to recap, so I’ll just start with the latest big event–Sarah and Greg’s wedding in San Francisco. There is a huge travel story to tell here but most of you reading this will have already heard it. Here are a few pics for you to enjoy!