Great-Grandparents April 27, 2008

Two weeks ago Phare and I had a visit from Pier and Betty Burr Abetti, my dad’s parents. They kept commenting on what a big head she has, which was the first time anyone has ever said that. But this mostly came from the man who used to tell me as a teenager and beyond that I was looking quite plump. No joke. I used to feel hurt but then started to realize that coming from a full blooded Italian it was a compliment. My grandpah appreciates curves, in other words. To him some extra chub is a very positive thing.

Phare wasn’t sure what to make of him, as you can clearly see in the pictures below. She warmed up eventually, unlike the neighbors’ dog who barked feverishly as we passed on our walk. Actually that’s an understatement. The dog followed us home, barking and snarling and growling the whole way. She was after my grandpah, no question. Dogs can not stand him, and it is a universal truth. Apparently when my grandparents were visiting a castle in France many years ago, they came upon a fenced in group of hunting dogs on the grounds, with a sign that said “Please do not disturb the dogs.” Many tourists were milling about, taking pictures, etc, with no issues. As soon as my grandpah approached the fence, the dogs went berserk, barking and creating quite a ruckus, snarling at him and trying to jump the fence! My grandparents had to leave, feeling very embarrassed.

Seriously, we had a wonderful visit. I love my grandparents very much and feel so fortunate to have known them for so long. My grandpah is now 87 and is planning to possibly retire at the age of 90! They are celebrating their 60th anniversary this June! Wow! I’m grateful for all they have taught me and the very generous ways they have given my opportunities in my life that I might not have had otherwise.

The Pat Down April 11, 2008

Today Phare and I took Noah to the airport in Boston.  Most people don’t understand that a trip to the airport around here involves at least a two hour car trip if you want a direct flight.  Noah is going to visit his Dad in NC for April vacation, where it is 87 and sunny, as opposed to 39 and raining here in VT.

So, we made it there okay.  Of course Phare did not sleep in the car as I imagined she would.  In fact, she spent the majority of the time screaming.  Not crying.  Screaming.  This is her new thing now.  She has found her high-pitched loud screaming voice and uses it at every occasion.  Of course I tell her no, not that it does any good.  She does it when she is happy and she does it when she is angry.  She was mostly angry this time.  She fell asleep about ten minutes before we got there.  Figures.

Once in the airport, most of my dreams came true.  The parking was easy and close, the line for check-in was non-existent, which is truly a miracle, considering that Noah had an American Airlines flight.  All was going well in security until the “post-walk-through-scan” guard told me Phare and I had been selected for the full pat down.  A pregnant lady with a small baby and a son flying solo, who does not even have a boarding pass but rather a “get through security pass to be with Noah” pass.  When the female frisker came over she started arguing with the man, saying it was ridiculous I had been selected and didn’t need to be since I wasn’t even a passenger.  He didn’t budge.

So, the frisking began, but I was suprised at how no one offered to help me with Phare.  I reluctantly chose to put her in a not so safe, curved, easy to fall over no arm chair.  The floor was my other choice–I don’t think so.  Noah had been sequestered to the outside of the glass holding tank.  So, she patted me down, and spent a surprising amount of time on my belly.  I eventually  moved over closer to Phare and informed the woman this is where I would stand in case the baby fell over.  Still no help offered.  Meanwhile, everyone has a full view of all that is going on.  It was annoying, but not so bad.  She really stayed away from all the privates, thank goodness, and I got my revenge when the guy at the end, thoroughly inspecting our stuff, had to ask me how to open the stroller.  Ha!

Of course the ending to this story is that I watch Noah get on a plane all by himself.  I see him disappear down the walk way, out of my hands, out of anyone’s hands really.  It doesn’t get easier but at least now he doesn’t sob and cry and beg me not to send him.  I’m proud of him for flying alone, despite the anxiety he still has about it.  He has come such a long way and I think he is very courageous.

Phare slept most of the way home, thank goodness.

This is not the best picture but it was the only one I got because my batteries were dead, of course.  We are just hanging out in the terminal, waiting to say good-bye.

Simon April 9, 2008

Today is my nephew Simon’s birthday! He is two but definitely not terrible. I miss him very much, and hopefully we will get to see him in Georgia this summer. Simon is fiesty, fun, pensive and loves cat food. Jane, Simon’s mom, wrote a very special and moving story about Simon that you can read at Ramona Mae. Happy Birthday Simon! Aunt Bekah loves you!

This picture was taken last November and is the most recent I have! He has certainly grown up a lot and is quite handsome!

Birth Days April 6, 2008

I want to wish a very Happy Birthday to my marvelous sister-in-law Jane! Jane has become one of my bosom buddies, always willing to listen and give good advice. I’m very fortunate to be a part of her life, and I have learned and grown so much just from knowing her. This picture is one of my favorites of her–it was taken when she and her daughter Ramona came to VT for a visit last September. I love you Jane!

There is another birthday to celebrate, which happened on April 1st. Doug and Kerry Heavisides welcomed their new baby girl into the world, little Olivia Rose. She is absolutely beautiful and we already love her. Everyone is doing well but of course exhausted. We got to go visit yesterday, truly a treat for us. She just laid awake in my arms for most of the visit, happy and content. I felt guilty to have hogged her peaceful moments. Welcome Olivia.

Low April 4, 2008

Today was one of those days where you wake up and everything just starts going downhill.  First of all, Phare just would not nurse well.  This was particularly frustrating for me because the mornings are the best time for nursing, and I figured this would be the last feeding to go.  She would hardly eat, kept fussing, and just seemed plain irritable.  It doesn’t help that she has also been waking up at 5:30 am for the past couple of weeks and I’m just exhausted.  I’ve heard many stories about children who just wean themselves, and I am planning to wean Phare early anyway.  But hey, what about doing it on my terms?  I didn’t expect she would have an opinion, but she certainly does.  I then made the mistake of getting on the scale and discovered I had lost another pound–that is two in a week, not exactly what you want in the second trimester.  I’m now convinced I’m not taking care of my unborn baby and that it’s starving.  By the time I made it down to the kitchen to help with lunches and breakfast, I started to cry.  I know it is natural for Phare to stop nursing.  I know it’s even better for me to have break before the next one.  But I still feel a loss and it will take just a little time to get over it.  I feel a loss about the way she will no longer need me, but it’s more than that.  Phare has a nursing personality.  She does certain adorable things that I only experience of her when nursing.  I will miss that, a lot, even though I know there will be new things for a lifetime to come.

I did call the nurse about the weight loss, and she isn’t worried about two pounds.  She even told me to have some extra pizza and to load up on the carbs.  Sounds like a dream, right?  I already mentioned the scalloped potatoes I made for Easter dinner.  I thought for sure I would add at least five pounds with those!  Where is the food going?  This is so opposite of Noah and Phare–I had no trouble gaining 40+ with them, and ten of those were in the first trimester.  I’m baffled, but I’m willing to let it go for now.  I already feel guilty for complaining about this.

I also went to playgroup today, and while I usually enjoy it immensely, today I left feeling lonely and more isolated than before.  This is not the fault of anyone there.  I just felt inadequate the whole time, struggling not to compare my child with others, and wondering why it seems everyone has it so together but me?  I can probably blame this on hormones.  I drove home in the pouring rain and sleet, just dog tired, but with no end to my misery in sight.

To top it off, Phare decided a 40 minute afternoon nap would suffice.  Of course–the day I need it most!  My friend Jonica did come to visit, and that was lovely.  She is a wonderful friend to me and I don’t know what I would do without her.  Then I took a trip to drop off a dinner I made for good friends who just had a baby (will post on this later) and that was satisfying.  I didn’t get to see them, or the baby, but it’s nice to know they aren’t having to cook!  So, the day did get better.  Dinner is in the oven, Jack Johnson is playing, and Phare has been in bed for almost an hour.  Life is good, and maybe not so low after all.  Besides, it’s hard for me to feel low when I look at this:

Grammie Sue and Phare April 2, 2008

Toby has been captivated lately by this photo of Sue Deitrich, taken with her father when she was 8 months old. He thinks she looks so much like Phare, and I have to agree. For some reason I have hardly any pictures of Phare at 8 months, but I did manage this shot, which I think does the comparison justice. What do you think?